Well I see you all like reading Lindsay’s blog posts more than mine, our site traffic almost triples when she posts, so I’ll just end this blog and let her take over. Ok…who am I kidding? You all know I must have my platform to get my sometimes long-winded thoughts out! 🙂 I’m only kidding, I know it’s great for you to hear from people on both sides of this battle! 🙂
Seriously though, I love when Lindsay writes on the blog because it gives great perception into her life, her thoughts and feelings and perhaps takes away some of the murkiness that I can paint of the entire situation. I told her just today that sometimes I feel like I end on a positive note in the blog too much and can leave everyone with the impression that everything is “fine and dandy”, but I’m glad she mentioned that struggles that we go through and let everyone know that we aren’t always the models of positivity that I may sometimes mislead others to believe. Guess what? That’s ok. It’s ok for us, as the combatants against this ugly disease, to be upset, to have crappy days or weeks. The most important thing is that we come to realize that it’s about getting back up and recovering from the punches thrown our way.
Saturday (4th of July) was EASILY my worst day, mentally, thus far. I think that I had been letting so much of this fight and the emotions build up inside and it finally had to have somewhere to go. Lindsay were just talking with our friends, Cara and Dave, about how we’ve been handling the emotions and stress of the entire fight and we both admitted the same thing. We both have been holding our emotions and stress in, staying strong in front of one another, to prevent adding stress or more emotions to an already volatile battle. She admitted that she feels like the only time she can “fall apart” or really let it out is when she is alone and doesn’t have to show her strength and positivity and I confided in her the same. I was downright depressed on Saturday and reached out to some family and friends for some words of encouragement and words of wisdom and that helped immensely. Thank you to those who helped, you know who you are! 🙂 My biggest problem of the day was the mistake of getting on social media, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc., to see what everyone was up to. I then fell into the “Why does everyone get to be with their friends and family on this day and Lindsay and I sit here in suffering?” Those thoughts can creep in really easily these days if we let them and the only way to fend them off is to realize the selfishness of the feelings and then turn the thought around. “What makes us so fortunate to have found each other, have each other and have our friends and family and all of you supporting us?” I bolded the both of those thoughts to highlight the stark contrast between them. Emotions are but our perspective on things and we can control them with our mind. I have found this very beneficial in this journey.
Sunday wasn’t much better than Saturday, it was a day of rest and recovery but that’s very difficult to do for Lindsay as she is very pregnant and on chemotherapy. We spent a good portion of the day between bed and couch with a brief attempt at a walk outside to get her spirit back up but only made it a few houses down before we had to turn back. Her stomach and body just isn’t “right” during the 2-3 days following chemo cycles so it makes for some LONG days.
Monday was a much better day, with marked improvement over her condition on Saturday and Sunday. Tuesday started out even better but then I got a scary call at work from Lindsay saying she has some spots in her eye that she couldn’t see, mostly out of the corner of her eye. I immediately jumped on google (always a bad idea) to find the remedy or possible cause. In the mean time I had her call the cancer center and they said that it was more than likely not related to chemo, as it isn’t typically seen in any of their patients on a Cisplatin and Etoposide “chemo cocktail”. They advised that if it didn’t go away or get better soon, to go to the hospital and get checked out but if it went away or got better to just wait until our 1:20pm appointment (already scheduled 3 weeks prior) with our regular OB, Dr. Svientek. Thankfully the symptoms subsided after about 15-20 minutes and were followed with a headache so we decided to wat for our appointment.
After showing up to our appointment right on time, we sat down in the waiting room and waved to the receptionists to let them know we were there so they could check us in. Her friend Jess was working and had on one of Lindsay’s support t-shirts which didn’t seem like anything out of the ordinary as she’s very sweet and has worn it every time we have been in to their office since the shirts were sold. However, I then noticed that Lisa, her coworker and fellow receptionist/check-out person was wearing a shirt as well! Then I saw our ultrasound tech walk by the office and she waved and smiled and I noticed that she, too, had her shirt on to show support for Lindsay. Pretty soon Stacy, a nurse in their office, came to call us back and when we got up to go back we saw she had her shirt on as well. I still wasn’t ready for what was next. As we rounded the corner it became clear that literally EVERY doctor and member of the support staff in the Women for Women clinic had on a shirt for Lindsay. If I wasn’t so good at hiding my emotions, as we talked about earlier, I would’ve broken down and cried like a baby. Ha! It was very emotional for me to see all these ladies, so full of love and support for a “stranger” to most of them and they truly made our day so special. It was one of the coolest experiences of my life and it’s something I will truly remember for the rest of my life and I cannot thank them enough for showing us so much love and support and truly caring about their patients the way they do! Unbelievable and unheard of in the medical field to run across an entire practice full of so many sweet, caring individuals! That’s why I know that it is no accident that Women For Women was, is and always will be our OB/GYN office of choice! That link is to their website and I encourage every woman in the B/N area to check them out, you certainly won’t regret the decision but good luck getting in! 🙂
“We don’t meet people on accident. They are meant to cross our paths for a reason.” – Unknown
Dr. Svientek is the redhead that symbolically (and probably unknowingly) has her hand on Linds’ right shoulder. She is not our obstetrician by accident, she was meant to be.
After we went met with Dr. Svientek and found out that the vision issues that Lindsay was having were “normal” around this stage of pregnancy, or rather not a cause for concern at this point, we then moved to a separate room to do a Non-Stress Test to monitor for contractions and baby movement. Baby Joey kept to his theme of overachieving and hit the ideal number of movements only 3-5 minutes into a 20 minute test! 😀 He’s a strong little dude, that’s for sure! Again, I can’t say enough about the Women for Women clinic, their staff or what they did for us on Tuesday. It was truly something very humbling, flattering and special that we’ll both remember for the rest of our lives!
Wednesday marked another rough day for Lindsay physically but it wasn’t terrible and she kept a positive attitude throughout the day and it came and went pretty quickly. Today, Thursday, we had a party for Lindsay’s last week of daycare. She is done tomorrow after 4+ years of daycare and it’s an unbelievable bittersweet and sad week because of what the daycare has meant to hear for 4+ years and myself for 2.5 years. There will be a blog post tomorrow about the daycare, the kids, the laughter, tears, blood, sweat, stories, memories and more so stay tuned!
We keep trucking along, taking this journey one step and one day at a time. Thanks for sharing in our journey! 😀