Well day 3 is in the books and it was a good day! Lindsay is feeling as good as you could reasonably ask for with everything going on and she was in much better spirits today so maybe she does listen to me every now and again! 😀
I met her and my mother-in-law for lunch and we got to give each other a hard time, share some stories, laughs and good food. It made me feel a lot better about our week and about Friday. Besides being tired, Lindsay is doing unbelievably well and I am continually amazed at her strength and courage in this fight.
She was feeling well enough that we even got to go to our bible study-ish group tonight after our delicious dinner delivered by our close friends, Matt and Kendra! At bible study we got to talk about all kinds of things and for the sake of not keeping you here for 2 hours, I’ll focus on the things that we talked about that tied into our battle. We talked about a very enlightening book that we decided to read and discuss each week in addition to our other conversations. The book is titled ‘Not A Fan’ by Kyle Idleman and it’s a fantastic read, I’d encourage anyone to give it a read. We only read the prologue and first chapter last week and it fueled the majority of our 2 hour meeting. Essentially the book is an honest, unfiltered, blunt and funny look at the concept of you being a fan vs. a follower of Jesus and I’m already a huge fan of Kyle’s writing style and message and we’re only one chapter into the book. There is a point in the first chapter where the author asks you if Jesus were to walk into a coffee shop that you were sitting in, and sat down at the table across from you and began to converse with you. The point of me telling you about this is so you know context of the question that was asked.
Basically, if Jesus sat down in that coffee shop next you and were to ask you to define your relationship, what would it be like? Would you be proud of your answer?
I’m a firm believer that in order to make progress in yourself, you have to be brutally honest with yourself. So how did I answer the question? I said that our relationship isn’t where I want it to be. I know I am imperfect and I have a ton of things to improve upon and quite frankly, Lindsay and I decided that growing our faith, turning to God and Jesus in this time of darkness, will allow us to get closer to the relationship that we both want. Was I proud of my answer? Nope. Not even a little bit. I know that I’m missing a steady faith in my life and so does Lindsay so we both decided that meeting with Cara and Dave would be a great, informal and comfortable way to grow our faith and get our foundation set to be able to take it and run with it.
All that aside, one thing that stuck out in the meeting to me was when we went around the room to list something that we can be better at, everyone listed of their deficiency and Lindsay’s was that she wanted to “be more positive and keep a more steady mindset” during her fight. That hit me pretty hard. I was sitting there thinking she was being unbelievably positive and steady in this fight and yet she humbly stated the contrary. It made me think about myself and what my approach to this has been like and if I can do better. After all, one of our countries greatest men stated something about happiness.
“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds up to be.” – Abraham Lincoln
Happiness truly is a mindset. When you wake up in the morning and start your day, only YOU can decide how you want to feel. Some would argue that actions or comments of others play a part in this, but that’s the case. If you make up your mind that their actions or comments will not impose or impede upon your happiness, it will not. My point is that happiness is a state of mind and I’m damn glad that Lindsay is who she is and decided to focus on her fight with positivity and happiness. Hell, if she can do it when faced with pregnancy and cancer, you have no reason to start out your day with anything other than a smile on your face! Lindsay woke up this morning and approached the day with a new attitude and a smile on her face and if she still thinks that SHE can do better, well then you and I can most certainly do better as well. 🙂
Keep the prayers, love and support coming! It’s working and we continue to need them! 🙂